We ALL face challenges in life, this is common to the human condition. Some of those challenges are greater than others. We may view barking our shin on a piece of furniture as a low-level challenge and being diagnosed with cancer as a very high-level challenge. What counts, and what makes the difference for us is whether we respond to a challenge or react to it. Let me explain.
Let’s use the barking of our shin on a piece of furniture as our example:
- If I react to the pain in my shin I may swear, rub my shin, shove the offending piece of furniture away from me, yell at the children for moving the piece of furniture out of position, complain to everyone who will listen about the lump on my leg and how much it hurts, refer back to it often and give the children dark looks for the rest of the day.
- If I respond to the pain in my shin I may rub it, cry “Ouch!” check my shin and realise it was only bruised, put the piece of furniture back into position, enquire if the children had moved it and discuss how the accident occurred, how it could have been much worse and ask them to ensure furniture is returned to its place whenever it is moved (even if accidentally). Then I’d get on with my day as it has been dealt with and no one else needs to know.
What happened when I responded to my bruised shin is I REFRAMED what had happened to a positive learning experience for the children. When I react negatively to something like this everyone is left feeling miserable, including myself.
Looking at the photo I have used for this post – when you climb to the top of the one pinnacle do you react by climbing down and complaining about it or do you respond by jumping the gap? We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control what we do about it.
A special friend of mine Sophie Personne, author of Your Other Half (a book about relationships I reviewed here) had a pretty awful year in 2017. Sophie has worked hard turning the negatives of 2017 into positives. She shares some great lessons in her talks and workshops and you can learn more here.
It doesn’t matter what challenges we face, we have the choice to react or respond. Which would you choose?